For the record, the fact that I am still single is in no way caused by gays and lesbians finding partners in their own lives

A "Marriage Amendment"

Osama's been forgotten, the mission was accomplished a while ago now, this hurricane season hasn't caused the gas prices to jump, so I suppose things are dull enough in the Off-White House that now the Shrub can turn to other serious matters.

And if you buy that, let me tell you about some oceanfront property that I'm selling just north of Utica, too.

But as much as I hate seeming to give credence to the issue by addressing it, I also couldn't stay silent about it. Marriage is just too important to me to ignore what they're trying to push down our throats, never mind fanning the flames of a non-issue so we'll stop talking about all the really immoral, disgusting things this Badministration's doing.

"Marriage is union between a man and a woman as a husband and a wife," is Shrub's idea of a marriage. And given that we're talking about changing the Constitution here, it's inferred, at least, that that is the ideal of marriage. After all, the Constitution is the founding document of the United States of America.

We're not talking about the by-laws of the local star trek fan club here. This is the fundamental basis of how America was formed and how it functions. The Constitution covers topics such as elections, citizenship, separation of powers, and states' rights. The Amendments covered things like Freedom of Speech, Religion, Press, Petition and Assembly, the right to bear arms, prohibition of slavery, citizenship, and voting.

(Well, as I typed that previous paragraph, I realize that expecting this Badministration to treat the Constitution with the seriousness required really is asking too much. They're pretty much shredding everything except the 2nd Amendment, though that's being very edited too. But while I might not agree with everything in the Guiding Texts, be they religious, political or social, I do respect their embodiment. And this doesn't mean that I believe they are completed, perfect works. No, as long as humans change, so too do the Guides need to be applied in new contexts.)

But, back to the whole ideal marriage thing.

In no particular order:
Robert Blake Bonny Lee Blake
OJ Simpson Nicole Brown Simpson
Mike Tyson Robin Givens
Ike Turner Tina Turner
John Wayne Bobbitt Lorena Bobbitt
Scott Peterson Laci Peterson
Dan Broderick Betty Broderick

There's more to an ideal marriage. A LOT more.

Personally, my idea of an ideal marriage is the traditional Islamic analogy of The Cloak... that the two people are comfort, protection and enhancement for each other. At least for my life, I trust that if those qualities are there between me and whoever I might someday share my life with, so too will be love, honor and trust. At least I hope so. Yes, he would have to be a "he" but that's just because of how I'm wired. But religion, skin tone, hight, weight, heritage, etc aren't factors. (The search for said man is a whole other topic!)

As someone who has claims of "otherness," marriage as well as all the social interaction leading up to it, have always been especially highlighted, sensitive, analyzed, discussed, dissected, examined, explored, etc. And by now in my life, I know enough about myself to know what I want. And I've seen enough to know what I don't want.

There's been so much talk about the institution of marriage. "Which kind?" I ask.

The traditional south asian marriage where husband and wife don't meet until the wedding ceremony? The ones where either by family pressure or religion, the woman has no choice? The ones done by elopement because one or both families would rather see their son or daughter dead before married to the other son or daughter? The ones done to secure political treaties or economic growth?

I don't mean to sound down on marriage. It's easy to point to all the sad examples. But just as the above types occur, so too do the ones based on caring, honor and respect.

And not a one of them succeed or fail because of gender, much less the genders of other people.

Marriage exists between whoever chooses to be married to each other. However they choose to define their marriage, that is their measurement for success. Everyone on the outside can have an opinion on that marriage, but only those in it have a vote.

As an "other," my right to marry a man of my choice, while mine in the eyes of Allah, would have been denied by America in the early 1900's.

I wouldn't have the right to decide who could make health care decissions for me should I no longer be able to. I wouldn't be able to visit him in the hospital. There would be no assumption of inheritance. And then would come the denial of employment benefits, social security benefits, life insurance, etc.

So, not only does this Badministration have no business in mine or anyone else's dating/married life, it is reprehensible that it would even try. But I, once again, shouldn't expect decency. The voting rights violations, the Terry Shiavo assault, the Iraq lies... this is just one more effort on their part to keep us busy and distracted while they attack America.

Shrub might not think so, but we really have more important things to deal with. And I doubt that him codifying his idea of a marriage would get me any closer to finding my partner.

No comments: